While I do not recall the events at the 2009 Golden Globes Party transpiring the same way, I am deeply ashamed (but not “sorry” because that means I’m guilty of something). I comforted myself by saying that at least I asked before I “honked” her boobs and demanded she watch me shower, and of course now I realize my behavior was wrong. In conclusion, I have chosen to live my life as a gay man so if you say anything bad about me now you’re homophobic.